Thursday, April 19, 2012

Good News

After taking the month of April off to pack the house, getting ready for storage while we spend two months with a cousin in AZ because my darn health insurance will not follow me if we move. In July I am eligible for early medicare due to the Cancer disability so must remain here until then. Had a PET scan and woo hoo, only two tumors on the liver showed a little growth , most shrunk or remained stable with no cancer cells anywhere else and my labs were A+ as usual. I am delighted and told my oncologist I plan on beating the odds and hanging around awhile. :) Am really tired of packing but almost done. Hubby cas COPD and a fractured disk so he has been no help physically and I am working my tail off. They say exercise is good for  me, so I guess I am right on track. Thank you all for constant prayers, they pay off and I am ever so grateful. Now to re-up chemo in May, trip up north to find a home (again) and then move the end of June or First of July. I want this over, I want to settle  in, I want to end the push to do so much in so little time. With His strength and guidance, I can do this. Praise be to God for watching over me, giving  me guardian angels to help me through the never ending challenges. Be well my friends and only seek Positive Pursuits. :)

Friday, March 30, 2012

Heavy Burdens r us

Home sold in two days, trip to look at homes in OR near a daughter was a waste as  my private insurance now tells me they will not cover me in that state. Loved seeing family and grandkids though. Trip landed spouse in ER with medical emergency which now makes me the caretaker as he is not doing well and cannot help with this move and is an uncooperative patient. Chemo today, must recover soon. Trip to southern CA to look for living space near our other daughter planned in five days but the state is very expensive where we need to be and I have doubts we can do it. Then home with three weeks to pack up the house hire labor to load up and figure out where we are going. Lord I wonder how much more I can carry....I trust you think I can do this, so I will. Trying to remain positive, I think I can, I think I can..... :)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Because a stage IV disease tends to make one take stock on life's priorities, we have chosen to move closer to our children and their families in an effort to enhance my quality of life for as long as I can live. I am a few months into my third year of treatment and frankly, with no guarantee on longevity, I am ready to make this move. Our choices are two states, Oregon and California. There are multiple pros and cons relative to living in either state however we find ourselves focusing on what might be available when standard chemotherapy ends someday, and it will. I am still a novice at alternative medicines and continue to research, so if you have any experience in one or more therapies please advise in the comment lines below. My Nurse of two years who comes to the house to disengage chemotherapy does not recommend naturapathic medicine. He has seen many of his patients follow various vitamin injection and enema regimes that simply have done nothing but drain the bank account. Of course, whether any therapy or treatment is effective partly depends on one's mindset.... one can heal while taking a plecebo! I know the Eastern cultures view treatment differently but again, I have only begun to research. We are heading to Oregon state next week or so to look at property but now have discovered that the area in which our daughter and family live, no clinical trials exist. If we settle there and wish to participate in such experiements, we will need to travel far north to Portland for treatment which will be tiresome and expensive and our resources are grossly limitied. Medical opportunities for treatment are far better in southern California but we will pay a price to live in such an expensive state which, like many others, is struggling to survive in this economy. Tough choices and then the work of moving. Our home sold in a week....a shock.... so at a "senior" age we now must struggle with a move that requires the energy of youth, something we lost sometime ago. Trust in God and all will be well.... hope so. While all this happens, I need to skip a month of treatment in order to pack and move... no choice there as cannot do this amid being sick from chemotherapy. Again, Trust in God. Stay well my friends, and continue your positive journeys. :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

New Year, New Regime

Hi, sorry for the delay. I returned from a month off chemo in January to resume chemotherapy based on my initial aggressive treatment. The first round was awful, put me down nearly ten miserable days. Oncologist decided to lower the dose so now, after my second treatment, recovery is much the same a usual. One week good, one week bad, and on and on.  It will be interesting to see if going back to this treatment does any good. We will know in a couple months when the next PET scan occurs. In the meantime I am preparing for the day when chemo stops.... it will happen.  Went to an Herbalist Seminar and was pretty impressed with the natural approach and only slightly disappointed that no matter the health venue, they are all as expensive as crappy prescriptions. So, financially, my boat will always be sinking. I have some immune system/liver boost pills and some tea which tastes like dirt (Essiac) that is my backup during this chemo. Trouble is, I get so sick I cannot take the supplements except during my well week. Since Herbs are sloooooooooooooooooooow in working, that probably negates their good. We will see. Stay well, stay positive. Thanks for all the prayers, still need them. :)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012


Thank you oh Lord for yet another miracle for my husband. What appeared to be pre-cancer or cancer turns out to be scar tissue in the right lung. We can deal with that. Thank you, thank you all for your prayers and uplifting thoughts, as always, they are much appreciated. Liffe is Good. Now I can get on with treatment without an added worry. :)

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Another Miracle Please

A few years ago my husband suffered the second of two heart attacks. The first came and went without pursuit as it was not life threatening and the second more of an annoyance. After a lot of testing we discovered that one artery was 95 percent closed... probably at that point during the first attack. His heart, miraculously enough, recognized the deficient blood flow and began the process of regenerating a new arterial supply. By the time we thought we faced surgery, his heart was functioning just fine with the new artery in place thus replacing the damaged one. A miracle!  Now, we have discovered a nodule on his lung and considering his (our) history... it is likely it will need to be removed. Like other baby boomers we grew up when it was cool to smoke, you were encouraged to eat margarine instead of butter (I never listened to that one) and there was no OSHA (spelling) to govern work standards that could be hazardous to one's health. My husband grew up on a farm, worked in his dad's auto shop, and later owned body shops: all of which were hazardous to his health. So, now I pray for yet another miracle. My husband is a pessimist which means he is not going to cooperate if he needs surgery to remove it, even if that surgery is pretty simple and if he does and it is cancerous, he will refuse treatment. After forty years with the man, I know this.  I am not equipped to be my own cheerleader 24/7 with terminal colon cancer and take on lung cancer for the man I love who will stubbornly refuse treatment. OK, this blog is supposition, I know. We have not had confirmation yet, but the odds are not good. Saying I cannot is a lie.... I will take on whatever is necessary to grasp at whatever quality of life is offerred and I will honor his decision even if I disagree with all my heart. Perhaps in his desire to take care of me will influence his decision. Perhaps the nodule is sooooooooooo small we can simply "watch it".  So, for my friends..... remember, this is my blog, not his so do not call him as right now he is deep in private thoughts. This plea is from me,  I need prayers for him please. And God, you honored him with a miracle once, please dig deep again. I need him.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Call, call and then call again.

I win, after days of playing merry go round with phone options that did not remotely involve a human being, I finally got through on the web. My email inquiry had an automated response that said I would get answers to my questions in ten days (too late to do anygood) and I immediately responded with "not good enough". To my surprise, I got a response in two days that the process required additional information from the oncologist...yeah yeah and was in process. It was approved the next day so my PET scan is scheduled the 17th of Jan, labs the 17th of Jan and chemo resumes the 19th of Jan. none too soon. I suppose being a bit of a cynic works sometimes. I hate being crabby but it is my life we are talking about now and I expect good service for the zillions of dollars they charge me each month, which by the way is more than my income...hmmmm something wrong with this picture.  At least I get coverage. They may someday say: "nope, too old, not worth the investment, go die". So I am lucky. Hope the scan is not too bad for taking a month off to live a normal life.... hope the chemo continues to work, hope I get another couple years.... I have too much to do, I am not done yet, I am still fighting. Thanks for being here for me. Positive pursuits only, remember that and please take care of your body. :)