Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Another Miracle Please

A few years ago my husband suffered the second of two heart attacks. The first came and went without pursuit as it was not life threatening and the second more of an annoyance. After a lot of testing we discovered that one artery was 95 percent closed... probably at that point during the first attack. His heart, miraculously enough, recognized the deficient blood flow and began the process of regenerating a new arterial supply. By the time we thought we faced surgery, his heart was functioning just fine with the new artery in place thus replacing the damaged one. A miracle!  Now, we have discovered a nodule on his lung and considering his (our) history... it is likely it will need to be removed. Like other baby boomers we grew up when it was cool to smoke, you were encouraged to eat margarine instead of butter (I never listened to that one) and there was no OSHA (spelling) to govern work standards that could be hazardous to one's health. My husband grew up on a farm, worked in his dad's auto shop, and later owned body shops: all of which were hazardous to his health. So, now I pray for yet another miracle. My husband is a pessimist which means he is not going to cooperate if he needs surgery to remove it, even if that surgery is pretty simple and if he does and it is cancerous, he will refuse treatment. After forty years with the man, I know this.  I am not equipped to be my own cheerleader 24/7 with terminal colon cancer and take on lung cancer for the man I love who will stubbornly refuse treatment. OK, this blog is supposition, I know. We have not had confirmation yet, but the odds are not good. Saying I cannot is a lie.... I will take on whatever is necessary to grasp at whatever quality of life is offerred and I will honor his decision even if I disagree with all my heart. Perhaps in his desire to take care of me will influence his decision. Perhaps the nodule is sooooooooooo small we can simply "watch it".  So, for my friends..... remember, this is my blog, not his so do not call him as right now he is deep in private thoughts. This plea is from me,  I need prayers for him please. And God, you honored him with a miracle once, please dig deep again. I need him.

1 comment:

  1. Keep hoping for the best Deb. I hope it turns out to be nothing. Keep me posted. Love you.

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