THANKS BE TO GOD

Thank you oh Lord for yet another miracle for my husband. What appeared to be pre-cancer or cancer turns out to be scar tissue in the right lung. We can deal with that. Thank you, thank you all for your prayers and uplifting thoughts, as always, they are much appreciated. Liffe is Good. Now I can get on with treatment without an added worry. :)

Another Miracle Please

A few years ago my husband suffered the second of two heart attacks. The first came and went without pursuit as it was not life threatening and the second more of an annoyance. After a lot of testing we discovered that one artery was 95 percent closed... probably at that point during the first attack. His heart, miraculously enough, recognized the deficient blood flow and began the process of regenerating a new arterial supply. By the time we thought we faced surgery, his heart was functioning just fine with the new artery in place thus replacing the damaged one. A miracle!  Now, we have discovered a nodule on his lung and considering his (our) history... it is likely it will need to be removed. Like other baby boomers we grew up when it was cool to smoke, you were encouraged to eat margarine instead of butter (I never listened to that one) and there was no OSHA (spelling) to govern work standards that could be hazardous to one's health. My husband grew up on a farm, worked in his dad's auto shop, and later owned body shops: all of which were hazardous to his health. So, now I pray for yet another miracle. My husband is a pessimist which means he is not going to cooperate if he needs surgery to remove it, even if that surgery is pretty simple and if he does and it is cancerous, he will refuse treatment. After forty years with the man, I know this.  I am not equipped to be my own cheerleader 24/7 with terminal colon cancer and take on lung cancer for the man I love who will stubbornly refuse treatment. OK, this blog is supposition, I know. We have not had confirmation yet, but the odds are not good. Saying I cannot is a lie.... I will take on whatever is necessary to grasp at whatever quality of life is offerred and I will honor his decision even if I disagree with all my heart. Perhaps in his desire to take care of me will influence his decision. Perhaps the nodule is sooooooooooo small we can simply "watch it".  So, for my friends..... remember, this is my blog, not his so do not call him as right now he is deep in private thoughts. This plea is from me,  I need prayers for him please. And God, you honored him with a miracle once, please dig deep again. I need him.

Call, call and then call again.

I win, after days of playing merry go round with phone options that did not remotely involve a human being, I finally got through on the web. My email inquiry had an automated response that said I would get answers to my questions in ten days (too late to do anygood) and I immediately responded with "not good enough". To my surprise, I got a response in two days that the process required additional information from the oncologist...yeah yeah and was in process. It was approved the next day so my PET scan is scheduled the 17th of Jan, labs the 17th of Jan and chemo resumes the 19th of Jan. none too soon. I suppose being a bit of a cynic works sometimes. I hate being crabby but it is my life we are talking about now and I expect good service for the zillions of dollars they charge me each month, which by the way is more than my income...hmmmm something wrong with this picture.  At least I get coverage. They may someday say: "nope, too old, not worth the investment, go die". So I am lucky. Hope the scan is not too bad for taking a month off to live a normal life.... hope the chemo continues to work, hope I get another couple years.... I have too much to do, I am not done yet, I am still fighting. Thanks for being here for me. Positive pursuits only, remember that and please take care of your body. :)

New Year, New Frustrations

Having taken a month off chemotherapy I feel renewed and ready to face the next year of treatment. I am now filling the coffers of a new insurance company until I can qualify for medicare. It is inhumane the inflated rates allowed to be charged patients but I have no choice but to sell my car, sell my house, sell my soul in order to receive medical treatments that may keep me alive.  It has been five days waiting for a pre-authorization of a PET scan which is required  before I can resume chemotherapy and chemo is required to keep me alive... hence I wait. I find it to be unforgivable that an insurance company who simply needs to check my benefit levels to approve a scan is taking so long. In addition, I am fed up with the maze of telephone extensions it takes to try and find the one person who is allowed to give you a status update on that approval. After two hours of fishing around a telephone system and waiting while listening to over loud elevator music, I gave up. I will try again today. It is no wonder people go postal at the lack of customer service today. If this company were not in another state, I would be inclined to take up arms and go in person to get answers.  It matters not to these folks that their delays in approving a simple scan puts my life at risk. So, while I try to make life simple and happy, things like this drive me nuts and that in and of itself does not improve my health. I had hoped for a better year, I fear my hopes are going to be dashed while already I am sinking in the mire of medical politics and phone systems designed to make you go away unsatisfied. Happy New Year