Thursday, September 23, 2010

It is Thursday... Chemo Party again!

Today was chemo day...it is never a joyous day, but I accept the necessity and look forward to a group of ladies I have met during my regular treatments. I have to admit, the ladies, Joanie who is new today, Mary whom I just met but  who has battled off and on since 2002, Kathy, on her second or third battle who is truly a trooper, Joe who is an optimistic wonder, Carol who is most gentle and lovely and Sharon who is new but had a great attitude and finally Jenny who also is most admiral. I am so in awe of these ladies, all of whom have a different take on their respective illness but all of them fighters. I feed from their strength as if it were my own and their comaraderie makes the long day go by much faster. We support each other and it is a joy to have each of them be a contributor to my well being, to my life with cancer, to my spirit, to my future. Thank you ladies for your smiling faces and will to face your disease with a vengeance.
I gratefully was not sick today but my husband, bless him, drove and hung out all day so I did not have to risk nausea and driving.. however my home health folks forgot to send my chemo "party ball" which I wear home and for the next 44 hours receiving chemo nonstop... so I am staying up, waiting for the nurse who will arrive at 10pm to hook me up. It will be a long couple of days, sigh. I also found out today, that there will be absolutely no medical cure option for me barring new medical breakthroughs or the Grace of God. I investigated tomography radiation ablation as an option for liver tumor eradication and the answer right now is no. Without boring you to death per the details, I accept the explanation. So, chemo seems to be working, new PET scan will be done end of October to track results but my cancer cell count was 34 on August 12th when I resumed chemo, today it was 10 (nice :) and for many patients it can soar to 700 or above. I am feeling that chemo is once again working. So my goal is to shrink the tumors to oblivion and keep them there so I can live with this disease for many years to come. I still eat well and as organic as possible, I am in tune with treated water in  #1 bottles only, I am as positive in my belief that I have God on my side every moment, and give thanks for the multitude of blessing in my life. I want to live, I seek only positive pursuits, I support anyone who needs me, I appreciate prayers, I am going to beat this or at least live with it for a long time. I will win, one way or the other. Be Well, Eat well, seek only positive pursuits, and be happy. Hugs, Deb

Monday, September 20, 2010

Daily Motto

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning
the devil says ~~ "Oh Crap, She's up!"

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

So love the people who treat you right.

Love the ones who don't just because you can.

Believe everything happens for a reason.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.

If it changes your life, let it.

Kiss slowly.

Forgive quickly.

God never said life would be easy.

He just promised it would be worth it.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Chemo Day Again

I am never really happy about going to chemo every two weeks because I know I have to look forward to the dark days after.... but on the other hand I had a lovely chat with about five other women today and it passed quickly. Last chemo blog blamed fast food for food poisoning event and now, I must own the fact I was wrong. Not the fast food. Currently one of my medications is being withheld from chemo since I had trouble healing a wound from surgery. The drug prevents healing; hence I did not get it last week or today. It also lessens side effects. So, today I went to chemo alone. I need to remember that my husband needs a break once in a while also, as this disease is not all about me. After chemo, driving home, I was going to be sick again. So, the deduction is: it is the lack of the drug, not fast food that makes me sick. I wondered how I would drive and barf at the same time... not an easy feat. Perhaps I could zip into the center turn lane, put blinkers on and have at it. Of course I am fanatical about keeping the car clean, so how would I do this, lean out the door. Yikes.... so as I am thinking of how to handle the impending situation, I am simultaneously removing everything from my purse, the only thing that remotely resembles a container for...you know what. I also prayed hard: Dear Lord, please place your hand upon my stomach and ease the urge to be ill until I get home. I did this all the way home and He answered my prayer. I took pills to prevent when I got home, hung out in the "loo" for awhile just in case, then took my bucket and went to bed for a 2 hour nap. Felt ok when I arose. There is always something to deal with when you have Cancer but I am dealing. I depend on prayer a lot and am blessed with all of your support and a loving family and meeting some very strong women at the Cancer center. I am good. Next chemo will be better. I had a great labor day as both daughters, husbands and children drove or flew in for the weekend. I was in grandma and mom heaven. I am so lucky. Remember my friends, DO NOT PUT OFF THE COLONOSCOPY if you are 50 or older. This cancer is sooooooooooo preventable and the procedure is easy and painless except for little discomfort the night before. While my cancer was missed during my regular check up procedure, I am not the norm. There is a reason for this, just haven't figured it out yet, nor fretting if I do not. It will be identified to me someday. In the meantime, I am still well for the most part, still believe in miracles, still fighting this hard and trying to do the right things regarding health and well being. I am thankful for my life, my husband, my family and friends, new and old. And eternally grateful to God for the strength he lends me regularly. Stay well, be happy, and seek only positive pursuits. Hugs

Thursday, September 2, 2010