Sometimes what is really is not.....

Okay,  I have reconciled some issues with my oncologist, or at least the nurses triage which in most cases is much more effective than the doctor. Thank God for all you nurses out there, you are a gift from God and I appreciate you so much. Meds were changed, but not recent, in fact they were changed in January. While I understand the reason, I do not especially agree with it, hence my visit next week with the doctor will address the issue. I have found though, that my horrid health experience over the past weekend after chemo was most likely due to internal neuropathy of the esophagus, stomach and intestines. I have most likely reached a place where I am becoming intolerant to one of my meds and the neuropathy sort of puts those three organs to sleep, causing them to malfunction and resulting in pain and discomfort. As a result we are addressing the meds, whether to lower the dose and track effectiveness or eliminate and try others.  It is a reminder that my life is precarious, it can shatter when we least expect and it is a reminder that I need to make every day count as they could end at any time.  I hope, if you are a caregiver for someone with cancer, that you recognize the need for that patient to function as normally as possible. I will not break, at least not easily, and I believe I am conscientious enough to know when the work I wish to do, in the house, the yard or wherever is enough and I need to stop. If I am forced to spend the rest of my life in a recliner, or at this computer, or resting, I will die of inactivity.....that is not my style. My caregiver is my husband, and I acknowledge the depth of his love and concern, but he needs to let me fly a bit, even if I stumble, he needs to let me live while I can. It is hard, I am working on this with him, but it is hard, so hard.  So..... my task is to rectify and amend treatment as needed, his task is to love me even when I wish to vacuum or pull a weed....so that the time we have together is happy. For those of you too busy to stop and take a look at your lifestyle, I ask that you please do just that. Stop and check the food you eat, stop and be concerned about the plastics in your life, stop and check the pollutants you put on your body or breathe in your home. Take a moment to make sure your life is long, healthy and happy. I pray you are spared this disease and that those close to your are spared. You must do your part.... seek only positive pursuits in the name of life.