Time to rethink treatment

A family emergency caused me to request to skip a chemotherapy treatment. I did so as, to my understanding, colon cancer is relatively slow growing thus I did not hesitate to assist my elderly father who had been hospitalized. I fear his congenital heart disease is going to escalate as the months progress and my sister and I may lose him sooner than later. He has led a wonderful life and since he has no regrets, neither do I. I will accept his fate when it arrives. Upon my return, I resumed chemo. The usually all day affair at the clinic on Thursday, wear the 5FU chemical home for the next forty some odd hours, unhook the stuff on Saturday and then the usual: check out and sleep a couple days, feel kinda crummy, maybe have some bowel problems on the third, fourth or fifth day, then back to good again.  Only this time, such was not the case. I learned that my oncologist increased the dose of 5FU I was to receive.  I did not know this was to happen until I was hooked up to a larger pump instead of the usual "party ball" which I wear home for a couple days.  As a result, my body did not tolerate this new dose very well and I not only slept but was pretty sick for a few days.... not the usual.  Tomorrow I will make a call to my oncologist as I am not happy. I need to maintain a level of trust with my doctor. When she indiscriminately changes dosages without any discussion nor any supporting documentation to justify the act, I feel violated. This is my body, I make the decisions, I demand open communication, I want to be heard and I will be. My laboratory test results have all been very good, and for the past year my body has adapted well to the chemo drugs used in their original dose. If this act was merely "protocol", a standard for one and all, then I will revolt as I will not be considered one of the generic flock for treatment, I am uniquely me, my body reacts uniquely and needs to be evaluated in the same manner.  If I am to die, I will do so only after treating my body as something special, not because I am a number in a statistic, another body in a growing population... I will not be labeled one of the flock.... I prefer to think of myself as a polka dot sheep in a field of white.  It is time to rethink treatment.... can I rebuild trust in a doctor who does not consult? I am leary. I am not mean...we will have the discussion and I will probably give another chance but only one, then we move on... where, I do not know.  I know I will get past this sense of sickness I now experience, perhaps tomorrow, day four. I have been clear from the start, live or die, I will have quality of life, without it... well we'll see.   Stay well my friends, eat healthy, go as green as you can and if not for you seek only positive pursuits for your children.  :)