Bear With Me

I hope the jokes do not offend anyone....I can only say that humor helps to lessen depression when one looks at the total picture of having Cancer. I mean no disrespect to Alzheimer patients in the previous post.
I am three days out from beginning chemotherapy again....I am not looking forward to getting back into the routine of treatment and the dark days that follow. Sigh! If I had a choice, I would choose a different path, dig ditches, become a short order cook, plant a tree in the AZ heat... but I have no choice but to put my head up, shoulders back, breathe deep and move forward. So, I will. Sure there are days when I am tired of this, however without having taken the steps I have taken; I would have bid you all goodbye by end of year. Not going there. As long as options exist, I will opt. It would be a slap in the face to you, my constant supporters and my family and me to do otherwise. Next steps are chemo, then investigating Radiation Oncology to specifically target the remaining tumors on the liver, hoping to eradicate them in one fell swoop. There is much investigating and weighing of consequences before we do that, but we will be diligent in that pursuit. Surgical wounds are healing slowly, either from a lousy immune system, being Diabetic, old age or ???? which is annoying but tolerable? And for those of you who wish your spouse would not let you lift a finger to do a damn thing, not a good wish....makes for an unbearably boring existence. I long for the day I can vacuum, pull a weed, clean the pool or wash the car without causing my husband distress. I have gained back 8 pounds since surgery. Mostly because I am reveling in the ability to eat whatever I want within Diabetic reason knowing full well this option will dissipate once we begin chemo again which leaves me unable to eat much for six days out of every month. That is okay, I still have room for weight loss despite the fact that I wish I could afford to go to a gym and firm up what is left! lol

Thanks for your patience regarding this blog. I choose less over more in order to avoid whining on a regular basis...so bear with my occasional updates. Perhaps the next will be more upbeat as I will get new baseline PET scan results today to see if we are status quo after a three month sabbatical from chemo treatments. :) Hope your summer included some fun family outings. Keep an eye on your diet: be sensible and organic when possible and remember " It is never so bad that it could be worse"... be healthy, be happy and follow only Positive Pursuits. Hugs