Saturdays..every other

It is a mixed emotion day as I anticipate
The unhooking of the chemo bottle to which
I am attached. I want a shower, a long one….but the unhooking
Comes with a price.

IT IS OFF, thank God. I must be quick,
I have only an hour or two…
Shower first, pay a bill, run to the store
And then like a black cloud looming it is in view.

I cannot really see it, but I can feel it moving
Nearer and nearer, it crawls to me.
And like a ponderous blanket
It envelopes my body, my soul and I cease to be.

While I sleep, I heal, I know that but
I lose time I do not wish to let go.
Days later when I wake from that dark place
I want back the time I shall never know.

At the end of my bi-monthly cocoon,
I feel ill and drugged from too much sleep.
Two more days of dealing with chemical sewage
Till I a will be released from this keep.

Then at last, the sun rises and so do I.
Feeling good, I have a week to soar,
To live a feel good life, to get things done
To plan my next attach on cancer cells and more.

It is not ideal, this life with stage four…
Of that there are no disputes…
But as the dark days pass I look forward
To: living the life of Positive Pursuits.